Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize