So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize