3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize