Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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