Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
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