Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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