there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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