What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
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Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize