Betty ford says i'm here all night
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize