He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
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