But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
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Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
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The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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