i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize