when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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