i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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