i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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