I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize