Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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