i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
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