I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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