This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize