where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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