It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
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I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
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He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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