Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think my cat just said my name.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
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