It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
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We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
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Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize