No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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