i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize