matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he quoted the bible to break up with me
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
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