Acid is not a monday night drug
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
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That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
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We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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