Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
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i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
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did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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