I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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