I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize