i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
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I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
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I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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