Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
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