You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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