come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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