whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize