Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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