I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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