Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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