I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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