I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
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