where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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