you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
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I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
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My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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