Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize