There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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