i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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