I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize