yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
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I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
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My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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