His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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