I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
